Ask Diplo

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Baledwyr, May 20, 2010.

  1. Baledwyr

    Baledwyr Non-Executive Chairman Site Advisor

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    [​IMG]

    The "Ask Burden" thread...ask his advice on anything and he'll casually sip his scotch, finger his bow tie, tip his glasses...then give you an answer as he fucks the brains out of his secretary and moves onto your spouse or insignificant other, before concluding while stealing the million dollar account you've been working on securing for months.

    ASK BURDEN!
     
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  2. Satans_Arme

    Satans_Arme The prince of Nipples

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    ok so i met this girl while playing runescape and now she wants to hook up with me. she lives 15 kilometers from where i live.

    what do i do? i've never even seen her before
     
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  3. Baledwyr

    Baledwyr Non-Executive Chairman Site Advisor

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    Buradain, Kimberley at work, a new girl in the cafe, is my age, intelligent and funny...but also engaged...she has a law degree and is doing an education degree...anyway...down to the real GLEESTUFF...she admitted she likes anal...what do I do? Should I make every possible attempt to break it up?
     
  4. Inferous

    Inferous Favourite Son Admin DiploGuard

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    burden,




    you didn't even sell out and yet you're still selling out, what the fuck man
     
  5. Andwyr

    Andwyr Disparaging the boot is a bootable offence. Site Advisor

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    burden i like this girl but she lives 120km away what do?
     
  6. Satans_Arme

    Satans_Arme The prince of Nipples

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    BURDEN
    she says she likes gagging... what does gag mean??
     
  7. Inferous

    Inferous Favourite Son Admin DiploGuard

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    burden what is your opinion on the hackneyed revival of tired and overused conventions, specifically in the form of contrived guru question and answer?
     
  8. Hksaru

    Hksaru Honk

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    burden inferous is gay
     
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  9. CNiper

    CNiper Join us on Discord! Admin DiploGuard

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    Burden Spencer likes this girl but i've already fucked her
    What now
     
  10. Mask*DeMasque

    Mask*DeMasque

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    Burden I saw this video and this woman was wrestling with a stiff snake, and then she started eating it, and it spat venom on her. WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!
     
  11. Burden

    Burden DiploGuard

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    this should get the thread of the year award

    who the FLYING FUCK still plays runescape!?
    you do nothing, you first promptly reconsider your life(you asked for advice about a chick who plays runescape SERIOUSFUCKINGLY?, and second never speak of this moment again.

    no you shouldn't bors,
    she's obviously a fuckwit if she has a law degree, and is working on another degree in education, all while working in a cafe?
    why didn't she practice law for a few years make enough money so she could go to school again and not have to work in a fucking cafe.

    my guess is there's some deep seated daddy issues you don't want to get involved with.
    so no bors, don't break them up.
    Two serious reasons:
    1. What goes around comes around.
    2. If she cheats once she'll cheat again.

    however prompting her to cheat and then pillaging her treasure trove is an a-okay way forward, fuck her fiance's feelings / sense of being.

    i should be the next emperor of gotennia
    i would even be active to do this duty

    spend one night not in a drunken fury
    drive to her
    bring flowers
    get heartbroken
    realize my advice is absolute shit

    it means she likes penis, and not yours


    you seem a little mad bro
    ^answer

    1. quit acting like you have a big enough penis to even penetrate a girl
    2. no one fucks a chick spencer dane berry likes, other than spencer dane berry

    putting "porn" into the youtube search box rarely gets you this kind of quality
    i salute you lad
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  12. CNiper

    CNiper Join us on Discord! Admin DiploGuard

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    Burden
    Theres this boy Spencer likes
    But i've already fucked you
    What now
     
  13. Burden

    Burden DiploGuard

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    Sniper
    i don't know
    shake it once, shake it twice, shake it three times and you're playing with it ya know
     
  14. Spankfurt

    Spankfurt Managing Director

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    Dear Burden

    I find myself more or less attracted to two girls who would be considered to have a little cushion for the pushin'

    what do
     
  15. Hksaru

    Hksaru Honk

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    burden i cant get this girl off my mind i don't know what's going onnnn
     
  16. EagleMan

    EagleMan Administrator Admin Map Maker

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    Burden?
     
  17. Burden

    Burden DiploGuard

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    as long as they are considered "overweight" and not "obese" all is well.
    but this is what i would do: put them both in the friend zone, and then proceed to date their more attractive friends, using them as stepping stones.

    it's called being a teenager hk
    penis>mind>heart

    I think therefore I Am.
     
  18. Contingency

    Contingency

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    Burden im friends with these 3 girls and they've all made it clear that they like me but they all hate each other what should i do should i proceed and date 1 of them or just remain friends?
     
  19. Burden

    Burden DiploGuard

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    >implying girls even talk to you contin

    anywho that's a sticky situation.
    either pick the one you like the most and say f u to the others

    or if none of them are "off the wall" dateable, be friends then use them to date one of their friends who you do find "off the charts" dateable
     
  20. Specter_Armada

    Specter_Armada Banned

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    Burden
    What the fuck is this shit
     
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